Sea Your History - Sea to shore 3 - "...then it all went blank"

Sea to shore 3 - "...then it all went blank"

Glenis Mould

Glenis met Colin in 1983 when he had been serving in the submarine branch of the Navy for eight years. Before getting married Glenis moved to Scotland for a trial period to see whether she could cope with life as a naval wife, although she was not eligible for some of the support provided for married couples. Following their marriage in 1985 they had two children. Colin was often required to work at sea for long periods when they were young, leaving Glenis to raise the children alone. She is very proud of her husband and her own connection with the Navy.

Glenis recalls the devastation she felt every time Colin went on patrol.

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

Extract Text (Duration 3.04)

... because you don't what they've been doing when they're at sea you have... With the submarine service you have no communication from them, you can send them the 40 word familygram, you only got perhaps three or four a patrol, so you had to be very careful on how you used those, they were very valuable, but of course on their time away you had no communication at all, you just knew that they'd gone. You didn't actually know that they'd finally disappeared because... perhaps if I start at the beginning.

What they would do is they would go away on an Index which would be for a week-long, where they go and try out all the submarine systems, try out the... the store's facility, make sure they're all stored ready for sailing, that their firings were all okay, and obviously that the submarine was safe for them to set sail, so they'd be away for a week. They would then come home for, could be a day, could be two days, could be a bit longer if they had something that needed to be putting right, and then all of a sudden they would say, "Right, we're away," and then it all went blank, because then you didn't quite know, if something went wrong they could turn up on your doorstep, if it didn't go wrong they were away and that was it, so everything just stopped still because there you were then, you knew you were on your own. You were then devastated. Feeling about your heart breaks, that is what it is, it's... Colin hasn't been to sea for quite some time now but you can still feel that break where you know that somebody you love with all your heart has gone. It's not as though they've died, you know you will see them again, but at the back of your heart you know that it's going to be quite some time.

As my mum once said to me when I first moved up to Scotland, "He might go to sea and never come back again." That makes you treasure every second you have with them, for all your life, because you know that that could happen, that is part of their service life, that something could happen, an accident could happen, they could go to war. We always had a pact between us that if there was a nuclear war, that I would step outside, because we know that if a submarine fired a nuclear weapon it is then an instant target, it would be destroyed, therefore I wouldn't want to live without my husband. I have my children now so life is very, very different, I have them, but at the time I would have stepped outside because I wouldn't have wanted to be without him either, I wouldn't have wanted to live in the devastation that was left behind.