Sea Your History - Effect on loved ones at home 12

Effect on loved ones at home 12 - Difficulties of saying goodbye

Dean, Karen, Abigail and Dominic Rogers

Dean joined the Navy in 1976 and has spent most of his career in the submarine service. He met Karen in 1986 when she became his next door neighbour. Following their marriage, they had two children - Abigail born in 1990 and Dominic born in 1993.

The family has chosen not to live in service accommodation, preferring to keep their family life as separate as possible from the Navy, whilst still enjoying the benefits of mess life such as summer and Christmas balls. When Dean received a draft to Australia in 1994, the family took the opportunity to accompany him for the duration of his two and half year posting.

Find out how Karen and Dean cope with saying goodbye before long deployments.

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Extract Text (Duration 1.23)

D Rogers: It is always very difficult. I prefer just to go, as if I'm just going back to work and not say that I'm going away. And also having appointments and jobs that I was travelling to Plymouth or Scotland at weekends, you got used to packing the bag on Sunday and driving off and going. But it is quite difficult when you're driving off on the Sunday but not coming back for three or four months and I think you just try and put that to the back of your mind: a) you don't want to upset the family; and also you don't want to be upset yourself when you're leaving, so it is quite hard. I think something that you'd never get used to, it's something that you just have to do, and as I say you put it to the back of your mind and you just go for it and do it that way.

Interviewer: Okay.

K Rogers: I only actually... Dean's submarine came into Portsmouth one year, it was part of the Navy Days and it was Superb, and then they sailed for 13 or 14 weeks and I went down to Round Tower at Portsmouth to wave them off and I swore I'd never, ever, ever do it again. It was heartbreaking, and it was much better to say, "Bye," wave at the door, "Bye" and that was it. I said after that I would never, ever go and wave him off again because that was far too hard to do.